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Mom Entrepreneur ? How I Decided to Leave the Corporate World to be a Mom at Home

May 26th, 2009

I grew up wanting to conquer the world. To take over the male dominated corporate boardrooms and rise to the top. If you had told me ten or fifteen years ago that I would want to give it up to spend more time with my kids I would not have believed you.

Fast forward to my first pregnancy…I actually told my employer that I would be back to work within months…lucky for me he did not hold me to that statement.

To my complete surprise I discovered that being a mom was a rewarding and fulfilling career choice. Pretty soon the time ticked away on my maternity leave and I dreaded going back. Paying the mortgage was my primary reason for returning. So back to work I went, just like millions of other mothers out there.

Eventually I settled into a routine leaving a part of myself behind each day. My daughter’s comments of …Mommy! Do not go!, and …Mommy, you love work more than me!, broke my heart, because to a toddler there is no way to explain - Mommy feels she does not have a choice.

I actually started to enjoy parts of my job again once the emotions settled down and a new routine was established. One day it dawned on me that I actually liked using my business brain again but my ambition for the corporate world was gone forever. I had finally found satisfaction in being who I was, because in my daughter’s eyes I was president of her world and how can you top that?

The second time around I knew and my employer knew I would take every day off that was allowed to me. I found being a mom to two rug rats chaotic and wonderful.

I also loved having the opportunity to bond with my daughter again. I discovered that we had to bond again in a million little ways because in a way she was her own independent person. At daycare she was used to having her own routine and she had to get used to me being home again.

As the leave concluded, I was expecting the dread feeling to return, but it didn’t. I assumed that I would return and get the same job satisfaction again, but I was wrong.

I do not know what changed, whether it was them or me, but something did. I did not feel productive, I found myself putting the hours into my job but I was bored and unsatisfied. When I added in the standard mommy guilt about leaving my children every day I was soon an unhappy mommy…I felt that I was failing at everything.

It took me a couple of months to figure out what was wrong. The first time back I had lost my corporate ambition, and the second time around I had lost the desire to fit into the standard 8-5 working routine of the corporate world. What I wanted was to be at home with my kids but I knew I would need an outlet to challenge myself. I finally found what I was looking for - the best of two worlds - I started my own home based company called Growing Growing Gone which is an online kids clothing store.

I believe that there is not one single answer out there on whether a mom should or should not work outside of the home. Following your chosen career path is a very personal decision. I went searching for the middle ground between the corporate career woman and not being that person. As I embark on the journey to bring this dream into reality I know there will be countless new challenges to face. Regardless of the outcome, I am happy with the choice I made and I fully believe that a happy mommy is a better mommy.

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